Log Entry: 4

Depression hits.

As I watch the movie for the forth time, I began to lose interest in life altogether.
This is no practical joke, I felt no need to live after I watched it for the forth time.

The reason being: Pandora is much too great. Nothing like it here... so, what's the point.

After experiencing Avatar for the forth time, I got what many call it the "Post-Avatar Depression." Strangely enough I didn't feel this way the first time, nor the second. Not even the third time was enough for me to open my eyes completely to the fact that our world we live in isn't as great as Pandora's.

At the time I thought I realized something great. Something no one else did. I figured, if you truly understood Avatar for what it really is, you will not wish to live anymore. And I didn't for nearly a week. Thank god I had some common sense not to kill my self, for I knew there is still some reason for living, even if it isn't as great as the Na'vi's.

I put the Avatar DVD into the Netflix sleeve and left it on the counter. Walking away I few tears dropped off my face. I knew that if I saw it again it would completely ruin me. It would destroy my senses altogether for I got in too deep. Too deep I couldn't swim anymore. The fact is, I drowned a little the forth time I saw it... I told my self I will never watch it again. I wanted to so much thought, it hurt so bad to had to let go. Jesus! right, lol. How crazy must one be to feel this way ha-ha.

My family never saw Avatar before. My mother suffers from a bit of "Post-Baby Depression" herself. I encouraged her to see it so many times prior to the forth time. I thought if she saw it, it would change the way she lives and thinks. What I didn't realize was that, perhaps it would have made her minor depression worse...

My father still remained skeptical of the whole idea of blue creatures. He laughed when I told him he should watch it. I told him there is a great deal of combat and technological fantasy that he would have enjoyed. However, he never listened to me. Sometimes I'm happy that he didn't, but other times I wish he did watch it... perhaps one day he will. If he views it only ones, I hope, it won't get him depressed. ;)

A little time went by and I watched other films. More light comedies and romance films to get me out of that depressed mood. I watched a great deal of 18th century, Kiera Knightley acting British films. The one that really helped me was my top favorite movie of all time, Pride and Prejudice. That movie, pretty much saved my life.

After watching it I didn't think Avatar. Some hints of sad thoughts still remained, but for the most part I was all out British 18th century young woman. Talking and dressing like Keira Knightley. It sounds silly, I know. But it helped me get out of that mood, something I'm eternally thankful for.

A little time went by again. I beat the depression. Nothing left of it, so... I decided to battle Avatar ones more. To see if this time, I could see it from a different perspective.

Change number four: Completely depressed and lost interest in life...
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